Dear 2010, I am over you.

Dear 2010,

I am over you.  Why?  You suck, that's why.  You have brought me so much crappy news that I am ready to kick your ass to the curb.  I'm ready for a new year and a fresh start and hopefully a respite from finding out such terrible news about me, my friends, and my friends' friends.  Just a few crappy pieces of news you've brought my way, to refresh your memory...

• Friend had a miscarriage
• IB's co-worker was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 25 and has to go through massive amounts of chemo which we're still not sure is working
• Friend's mom was in a horrible car accident and spent months in a coma - she will likely never fully recover
• Worst person I can think of to have a baby, had one
• Friend's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and it had already metastasized to other organs
• IB's great grandmother passed away
• After 11 months of trying, IB and I get a BFP only to find out 6 weeks later that our baby died
• I had to have a DE&C
• Sis-in-law's cousin passed away from cancer - she was in her early 20s
• An old friend I've known since we were 5 had her second baby girl who passed away from respiratory failure minutes after she was born
• Friend's mom had a hysterectomy because of above breast cancer and has multiple complications and can't eat at the moment
• Friend's 33-year-old bro-in-law's cancer has spread so much that he just found out they're stopping his treatments and he's going to go on hospice care.  He and his wife just got married a year ago.

I'm sure there are more horrible things - this year has been chock fucking full of them - but those are the ones that came off the top of my head.  So, 2010, fuck you.  Fuck you and your 9+ months of shit.  Fuck you and your remaining 3 months.  Fuck you, goddamn you to hell, and I can't wait until you're gone.

If you want to try to salvage just the tiniest bit of dignity in my eyes, you can send me a BFP in the next 2 months that results in my take-home baby in 2011.  That's all you can do to even begin to make up for this year of suck.  Otherwise, this will be my motto forevermore...

Yours truly,
Aly

Bitching and complaining

Because I fucking can.  Just some random irritations off the top of my head.  Some of these probably don't have any rhyme or reason to them for any of you, but it makes me feel better to put them out there.

• Coming is spelled with ONE m.  It's not spelled comming.  Fucking moron.
• Pregnant 16-year-olds that walk in front of my car while smoking are taking their lives into their own hands.  I'm just sayin'.
• Sneakiness, secretiveness, and obvious witholding of information is fucking retarded.  And it pisses me off.  Stop it.
• If I didn't tell you about my miscarriage, it means I didn't want to.  Pushing me and my friends to tell you what happened is the least-classy, most disgusting display I have seen in recent history.  You're gross.
• Y-o-u-'-r-e means you are.  Y-o-u-r means your.  (Borrowed from Friends, but still pretty fucking on point.)
• Could somebody please buy our goddamn house?
• V-e-i-n is that little thing that blood runs through. V-a-i-n is what you are, but not what you mean.
• If you have a child, it should automatically become more important than you and what you want to do.  Their health and well-being is more important than being able to live your life the same way you have since you were 14.  I could kill you.
• People that give their children extra letters in their names or spell fairly common names all fucked up in an effort to be different are idiots. 
• Writing in text shorthand on FB makes you look like you are stupid and uneducated.  I mean, you are stupid, but that's beside the point.
• The phrase is "soaking wet" - not "soak and wet".  Seriously, you are so motherfucking dumb.

And, to close, I will share with you the saying that I recently saw that appeals to me on many different levels and is totally relevant to my life right now.  This is meant to be in response to what people say when they find out you've lost a baby/had a miscarriage, but I find that it could be applied in many different ways.  At least for me.

"Every time you say this happened because it's part of god's plan, it makes me think you're both assholes."

Suck it, life.

Warsh or woosh?

In the area I grew up in, there's this weird thing that renders many folks virtually unable to say the word "wash" the way it's supposed to be pronounced.  Why?  I don't fucking know.  Maybe they're drinking water from the Mon River.  Maybe they're lazy.  It's always kind of annoyed me, but what's a girl to do?

The first type of offender says warsh.  Yep - with an r.  A fucking r.  Hey - asshats - there's no r in the spelling of that word.  So don't pronounce it that way.  These are the worst offenders in my opinion.  It makes them sound stupid and classless and I really.fucking.hate.it.

The second type says woosh.  Like the sound you would make when describing a mighty wind blowing through the trees.  Again, I have no explanation for this, but at least they aren't adding a letter to the word that really isn't there.

This brings me to my washing machine (prounounced like wash), which decided to stop working on Wednesday.  IB had some of his work shirts in the machine, and when I went down to take the dogs out before bed, I was greeted by a haze of smoke and the smell of burning rubber.  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.  Apparently the pump stopped working, so the water stayed in the bucket, then it tried to do the spin cycle, which burned out the belt.  A quick phone call to my dad (who knows everything) determined that it likely wouldn't be worth trying to repair, so off we go to buy a new one.

I should mention here that we have never paid for a washing machine before.  When we bought our house 9 years ago, my dad gave us one that he had sitting around.  When it crapped out a few years later, he gave us another one that he had loned to my sis and bro-in-law when theirs went on the fritz.  Since my dad's seemingly neverending supply of washing machines has apparently run out - for the first time  ever - we are buying a new washer.  Not too shabby to be 31 and never had to make this purchase before. 

On the other hand, our house is currently for sale.  And we plan to leave the washer and dryer for the new owners.  Mostly because I want to buy a set like this...awwwww yeeeeeah.  Those suckers turn me on.  I never thought I would become the kind of woman who would lust after large appliances, but there ya go.  Anywho, our cunt of a washer deciding to break this week basically means we're going out tonight to buy a new washer for someone else. 

Therefore, instead of my first washing machine purchase being one that makes my nipples hard, it's going to be one that I couldn't care less about.  One that could be puke green in color and only have one button that says "wash the fucking clothes".  One that I will use for (hopefully) only a couple of months and then leave in my basement for the new owners to clean their underwear in.

Fucker.  :(