On pins and needles

Today I woke up at 4:30 a.m. to pee, and when I wiped there was a small blood clot.  All day today I've had cramping off and on, and a little spotting when wiping.  What.the.fuck?  I know it's something like 20% of all first-time pregnancies end in miscarriage, but I was am willing myself not to be one of those statisctics.  I have been a tortured soul for the past year watching friend after friend and acquaintance after acquaintance get KTFU with no BFP of my own.  It's finally my time, goddamn it.  It's MY mother-fucking turn.  You stay in there, baby.  This is your mama speaking and what I say goes.  Or else.