I'm annoying even myself

I feel like all I ever do is bitch and complain any more.  It's getting old, even for me, so I can only imagine how my friends and family feel.  I hate feeling sad all the time, but it just seems like every week something else happens or should be happening that sends me into a tailspin all over again.  It's not like I never have fun - I do - but there's always a part of me that's just unhappy all the time.  What is it this week?  Thanks for asking...

• Friend's brother-in-law passed away just a week after stopping his treatments for lung cancer.  He was 33.
• IB's family drama has been going on for 7 months now, and it's really starting to take a toll on him.  And it's fucking pissing me off.
• Yesterday marked 11 years since my grandfather passed away.  Every time I think about the absolutely stupid goddamn reason for his death, it makes me want to stab someone.  I'm still really angry - and I still miss him every day.
• This week I should be having my "big ultrasound".  In other words, this is the week I should be finding out if the Shamrock was a boy or a girl.  I hate that we have nothing to look forward to, except going back to the drawing board trying to conceive.  It's been 15 months since we first started this process, and I'm just mad and sad that we have nothing to show for it.

I hate this week.  I hate this year.  I hate that I'm one of those people that always has something to complain about these days.  I'm trying to turn things around - I really am - but it's so goddamn frustrating. 

Ugh - see?  Even I don't want to read this crap.  I promise, my next post won't be so bleak - even if I have noting to write about other than my favorite ice cream flavors.  :/